How to Deal with “Inappropriate Sharers” in Your Small Groups

Roy Mansfield here – Pastor of Spiritual Development at Northstar Church in Panama City, Florida, Senior Pastors Coaching Network Alumni and regular guest on Nelson’s blog.

Quick post for you today about how to handle an awkward and difficult situation that occurs from time to time in your small groups…

What would you do if someone in a mixed (men & women) small group you’re leading began to confess in detail about a sexual sin?

FREAK OUT??!!! Yes, me too. But I mean, after that… Here are three steps to deal with just this type of experience:

1. Immediately ask God for help (I would recommend saying this prayer in your mind rather than shouting “HELP US JESUS!” while the person is talking).

2. Say “excuse me” and then let them know that you want to address what they’re sharing, but you think it might be more helpful if they spoke with you (or you and your spouse) privately after the group.

3. If this is a very emotional or significant issue it would probably be helpful for you to take some time to pray for the individual before you moved on.  Be careful not to pray for them just as a “transition” strategy.  Sincerely ask God to bring healing and grace in this area of their life.

This process will also help you transition your group after you are finished dealing with a deeply emotional issue that is completely appropriate.

Remember what The Apostle Paul said to the Romans:

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” – Romans 12:15

Just because a group get’s “messy” doesn’t mean it has to crash and burn. 

Leadership is what will make the difference.

– Roy Mansfield

Posted On: October 22, 2012
Posted as: Small Groups

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