Live Training Events in Your Area (Portland, OR – Richmond, VA – Atlanta, GA)

I really enjoyed my recent “Top 3 Growth Barriers Tour,” where I got to meet and interact with many of you all over the country, and it got me thinking…

Did you know that there are a number of CLI Certified Trainers that lead training events based on my content all over the country?

These are proven pastors who have learned and implemented these same principles and systems in their own churches – in addition to that, many of them have actually helped me hone and refine the content over the years in coaching networks and through their “from the frontlines” feedback.

Here are some CLI Trainer-led Events coming up in the next few weeks that you might be interested in (click each one for more info or to Register Now):

August 25 – Portland, Oregon Area
The Ignite Seminar (9am – 12 noon)
The Ministry Seminar (1pm – 4pm)
Led by Gabe Kolstad

September 9 – Richmond, Virginia Area
The Fusion Seminar (9am – 12 noon)
The Activate Seminar (1pm – 4pm)
Led by Jamey Stuart

September 23 – Atlanta, Georgia Area
The Activate Seminar (9am – 12noon)
The Fusion Seminar (1:30pm – 4:30pm)
Led by Kerrick Thomas and Adam Bishop

If you’re within driving distance, do yourself a favor and Register Today – you’ll be glad you did!

P.S. For an ever-updated list of all upcoming CLI Events, you can always visit:

www.ChurchLeaderInsights.com/events

U.S. Churches No Longer in Decline – CLI Newsletter Rewind

Did you catch this month’s issue??

Each month, as a part of the “Church Leader Insights Family,” you receive the CLI Newsletter, directly to your inbox,  packed with the best church leadership content I can find.

Just in case you missed it, here’s an article from The Christian Post that was included in this month’s newsletter:

TOTAL U.S. CHURCHES NO LONGER IN DECLINE

“Studies have shown that, in general, churches typically plateau in attendance by their fifteenth year, and by about thirty-five years they begin having trouble replacing the members they lose,” the book states. “[A]mong evangelical churches, those under three years old will win ten people to Christ per year for every hundred members. Those three to fifteen years old will win five people per year for every hundred members. After age fifteen the number drops to three per year.” — Read More…

The Church Leader Insights Newsletter is designed to bring you the best and latest thinking on Church Growth, Evangelism, Leadership and Church Planting every month!

If you’re not already subscribed, you can click this link to sign up right now.

How to Perform a Personal, Christ-honoring Wedding

One of the great joys of being a pastor can be performing weddings.  But that same activity can leave you feeling stressed, uncertain or feeling like you missed an opportunity.

My friend Glen Kreun, Executive Pastor at Saddleback Church, recently shared five proven tips from his vast experience with weddings.

I decided to re-print his article here for you today:

How to perform a personal, Christ-honoring wedding
by Glen Kreun

“… the bottom line in every wedding is that it’s all about Christ. Though it’s important to honor the bride and groom and their relationship, Christ is the guest of honor.” Glen Kreun

We often hear about weddings that are memorable for all the wrong reasons – the best man faints, the bride trips over her dress, or the pastor calls the groom the wrong name. It’s only occasionally that you hear about a wedding that was truly unique for all the right reasons, because it celebrated Christ and the unique way he brought two people together.In more than 24 years on staff at Saddleback Church, where I serve as executive pastor, I’ve performed around 200 weddings. And I’ve learned what works well and what doesn’t – both to make a memorable wedding for the families and to honor Christ.

Here are a few of my favorite tips:
1. Require all couples to have premarital counseling.
Ultimately, the wedding is not about the ceremony; it’s about the marriage. Because of that, we require all couples married by one of our Saddleback pastors to complete eight weeks of premarital counseling. The prospective bride and groom meet with a husband-and-wife couple who are trained in premarital counseling. Our counselors deal with spiritual values, then family background, finances, and other issues. Occasionally, it becomes clear during premarital counseling that a couple is not ready to marry. When that happens, we help the couple find counseling to work through problem areas.

When a couple completes counseling and is ready for marriage, the counselors send me a report on the counseling.

2. Do your research before the wedding.
In the ceremony planning, I want to know as much about the couple as possible. So once I receive a report on the couple from our volunteer premarital counselors, I set up a two-hour meeting with the bride and groom. This is the only time I meet with them before the wedding.

First, the couple completes a wedding planner sheet, with details including their names, the wedding date and time, phone numbers (including cell phones, for wedding-day emergencies), information about the music, and whether the groom is wearing a suit or tuxedo (so I’ll know which to wear). They also list the names of the wedding coordinator, parents, step-parents, attendants, and children, if it’s a second marriage. I want to have those names in mind so I recognize the parents and other important people by name on the wedding day. If this is a second marriage and the couple has children, I’ll always ask if they want to include children in the service. If the kids are young, I’ll typically suggest the new step-parent gives the child a gift during the ceremony. This is a good way to build a bond between the two of them.

Next, the couple shares about their premarital counseling and then the Cliff notes version of their life story. Then I ask them to share their dating lives together – how they met, their first date, what they did on their dates, and how he proposed. Then I ask: “What are the qualities that cause you to think this is the person God has put into your life?” Sometimes the answer draws a tear because they’ve never verbalized those things before. They’ve said, “I love you,” but they’ve never gotten down to the nitty-gritty of why they love each other.

I also ask the couple to have their parents send me an e-mail, both giving their blessing on the wedding and telling what they love about their future son- or daughter-in-law.

After I get the personal stuff, then we talk about the ceremony itself. I ask the bride about every detail, from whether they want to write their own vows to asking who will give the bride away. I remind them about details couples often forget, like the fact that the groom should help the bride if they need to walk up stairs during the ceremony.

“Ultimately, the wedding is not about the ceremony; it’s about the marriage.” Glen Kreun

3. Make the ceremony very personal.
The people sitting in the pews at the wedding should think, “Wow, this pastor has known this couple all their lives.” I also want the wedding ceremony to be a celebration everyone will remember with joy and talk about for years in the future. So, I take the personal information the couple has shared with me and write a story about their lives and their love for each other. I share that story at the beginning of the ceremony, just after I’ve welcomed everyone to the wedding.

Also, if the couple approves, I ask the parents to stand and affirm their blessing of the marriage. I also share with the bride and groom what their future in-laws have e-mailed me about why they’re pleased with the marriage.

With the bride and groom’s approval, I also will share that they spent time in premarital counseling. If the counselors are at the wedding, I will publicly name them and express gratitude. It’s a teaching opportunity that puts a value on premarital counseling.

Throughout this personal part of the ceremony, I try to include humor, but I end with the serious stuff – why each wants the other person to be his or her spouse.

4. Center the wedding around Christ.
To keep the wedding Christ-centered, I ask the couple to make a public commitment to dedicate their home to God and commit themselves to ministry within the church. Next, I talk about love in a secular way, looking at what our culture says it is; then I read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 to see what God says it is. I read it slowly and let it sink in. When couples use traditional vows, I talk about the rings, with their unending circles and pure gold, representing the pure and unending love God has given them. I talk about both the bride’s and the groom’s relationships with Christ, including when they committed their lives to Christ. I read from Matthew 6:31-33, which tells people to seek God’s Kingdom first. I talk about living out God’s Word in their marriage and in their lives – not just talking about it. If the couple has other Scriptures they want read or shared, we incorporate those.

5. Avoid pastors’ #1 wedding mistake.
At many weddings I attend, I see a lot of pastors keep the bride and groom’s backs to the audience until they exchange rings – which is halfway through the ceremony! Instead, I have the bride and groom face each other and hold hands as soon as they get on the platform. This is their moment that God has made just for them. I want them to look at each other and feel this moment with all their senses. This also allows family and friends to see their profile. Then they can see the teardrops and emotions. Those are meaningful moments, both for the bride and groom and the family.

For the first five to 10 years of my ministry, I followed the same very formal approach I had seen so many other pastors use when officiating a wedding. But as I’ve begun incorporating these particular principles into weddings, it has made these very special days much more personal for the bride, groom, and all the family and friends involved. When I hear the positive feedback from the couple and their families – and see their tears – it’s so gratifying to know I’m touching their hearts. But the bottom line in every wedding is that it’s all about Christ. Though it’s important to honor the bride and groom and their relationship, Christ is the guest of honor.

Thanks for sharing your wisdom Glen!

P.S. For more helpful articles like this, be sure you are signed up for our FREE monthly Church Leader Insights Newsletter - just click here!

Can You Meet Me in Northern New Jersey in Two Weeks?

I’m excited to be doing a number of live events in the coming months – starting in about two weeks in Northern New Jersey.

If you’re in the Northeast, I hope you’ll Register Today and mark Thursday, June 24th on your calendar, so you can join me!

This is an opportunity to Train Your Staff in One Day – Two Free Workshops, One Day, One Location.

I’ll be leading The Top 3 Growth Barriers Workshop for Senior Pastors and Kerrick Thomas will be leading The Top 3 Skills Every Effective Executive Pastor Must Master for Executive and Associate Pastors.

Here’s the Information:

What:
The Top 3 Growth Barriers Workshop
for Senior Pastors Only
and
The Top 3 Skills Every Effective Executive Pastor Must Master
for Executive/Associate Pastors Only

When:
Thursday, June 24
9:00am – 12:00 noon

Where:
Somerset Hills Baptist Church
510 Mt. Airy Road
Basking Ridge, New Jersey

Cost:
FREE with RSVP ($49.95 at the door)

Reserve Your Spot Now:
Online – CLICK HERE
Phone – 1-800-264-5129
Email – info@churchleaderinsights.com

I hope to meet you in Jersey in two weeks!

P.S. If you just can’t make it to this workshop, it’s part of a Top 3 Tour that I’m doing with Kerrick and Jason Hatley this summer – to see if we’re coming to your area, CLICK HERE

New Feature – Search the CLI Blog!

Drumroll please….

After a number of you requested it, I’m proud to announce today that the CLI Blog is now “search-able” using the “Search the Blog” box on the right-hand side.

So now, in addition to searching by categories (also on the right-hand side), you can type your specific query into the search box.

You can search just as you would with any other search engine:

• Use quotes if you want an exact match (for example, you might search “how to read more”)
• Search a more general term for all posts on a specific topic (try searching for: newcomer reception)
• Here are a few other search terms you might try, that will connect you to some of my more popular posts from the last few years: McDonalds, “Nelson, what do you mean by Church Systems?”, avoid the DMV

I have been blogging for a while now (almost 600 posts now), and there’s quite a bit of content floating around here – now you (and I) have a handy way to track it down.

Enjoy!

P.S. Some of the most frequently asked questions on the blog are about Church Systems – you can download a copy of my “Healthy Systems, Healthy Church” E-Book for FREE by Clicking Here.

Memorial Day Sale – Over 40 Resources Up To 50% OFF!

Just a quick post this morning to let you know about the Memorial Day Sale running at Church Leader Insights.

Now through Monday – We’re offering over 40 resources at up to 50% Off (including The Growth Barriers Workshop, Planning Worship Services for Life Transformation, Sermon Series, and more).

CLICK HERE FOR THE MEMORIAL DAY SALE

But hurry… this sale ends Monday!

Have a great weekend!

Is Marriage Good for Your Health?

If I meet my weekly reading goals, I will allow myself to ‘indulge’ in reading the Sunday NY Times. . . I especially love the NY Times Magazine.

This week, a great article asks “Is Marriage Good For You?” – here’s a few of my favorite learnings from the article (my comments in parentheses):

“Contemporary studies, for instance, have shown that married people are less likely to get pneumonia, have surgery, develop cancer or have heart attacks.”

“Other researchers have also studied how the “drip, drip” of negativity can erode not only a marriage itself but also a couple’s physical health.” (Didn’t I read this in Proverbs somewhere?)

“Of course, all couples — happy or unhappy — are bound to experience some form of marital conflict.” (This applies to Christian marriage too – whew!)

“. . .when the woman was holding her husband’s hand, the effect was even greater, and it was particularly pronounced in women who had the highest marital-happiness scores.” (Remember this on your next date night)

You can read the entire article by clicking here.

Warning: this was not a Christian study . . . so don’t expect the comments or suggested results to match with your Christian understanding of marriage. Nonetheless, there are lessons to be learned.

When you find an interesting article or book, let me know by using the “Ask Nelson” button on the right.

Nelson

P.S. Looking for a sermon series to help strengthen the marriages in your church? Check out my Relationship Rescue series here.

Last Chance – Easter Sale (Over 85 Resources – Up to 50% Off)

As you’re coming down off the high from Easter yesterday, I just wanted to drop you a quick reminder that the Church Leader Insights Easter Sale ends tonight!

This is your last chance to get over 85 resources for up to 50% off, so click the link below now to see all the great deals:

Church Leader Insights Easter Sale

P.S. If you’d like to share a praise report from Easter Sunday at your church, click the “Ask Nelson” button on the right side of this blog to let me know how it went!

Big Easter Sale – Over 85 Resources for Up to 50% Off!

In case you haven’t heard, Church Leader Insights is currently running a HUGE Easter Sale!

You can pick up dozens of resources at up to 50% OFF, including many of our most popular downloads and CD Sets!

This sale ends on Monday, April 5 (the day after Easter), so don’t delay!

Here’s the link:

Church Leader Insights BIG Easter Sale!

P.S. Look closely and you’ll see a number of Sermon Series and Seminars at a “lower than ever” investment – don’t miss the Big Easter Sale!

Ready to Help Thousands of Churches around North America and Beyond? Two Positions Available

I often share with my coaching participants that when it comes to staffing, I try to “always be recruiting.”  That’s because I believe in finding the best possible people to be a part of any team I’m leading.

So I thought I’d take a moment today to ask you a couple of questions:

Are you a self-starting and Kingdom-minded person who has an affinity for hard work?

Do you want to be a part of an exciting team that is impacting pastors and church leaders across the U.S. and Internationally?

If you answered “yes” to both of these questions, you may be interested in one of the following positions with Church Leader Insights:

POSITIONS AVAILABLE:

1) EVENTS MARKETING DIRECTOR (Full-Time)
Are you up for the challenge of helping us multiply the Church Leader Insights training events ministry?

Each year, CLI trains hundreds of pastors and church leaders across the United States. We’re looking for just the right go-getter to be responsible for coordinating and marketing all CLI events.

Must have first-hand experience coordinating first class events from the planning stage through completion. Travel is required. Direct Marketing background is a must. Salary is commission based.

2) WEB EDITOR DESIGNER (Part-Time to Full-Time)
Do you have the technical abilities to maintain and upgrade an ever-expanding ministry web presence?

We are currently looking for someone with experience in HTML and Web Content Management to help with various CLI projects. Graphic design, audio and video editing skills preferred. Competency in HTML, CSS, PHP, Dreaweaver CS4 or equivalent, JavaScript, Flash, ASP and willingness to learn Infusionsoft.com is a must.

If you are aggressive and would like to join our Kingdom impacting team, send a cover letter outlining why you are interested and what you can bring to the position.

Attach a resume or work history. Resumes received without cover letters will not be considered. Ministry or church experience preferred for both positions.

Email info@churchleaderinsights.com

P.S. We’re only going to consider serious prospects. If you can’t put the time and energy into your cover letter and resume, that’s a pretty clear indicator to me that you’re not a good fit for these openings.